To Celebrate or Not to Celebrate

By Rabbi Emily Losben-Ostrov

I’m a sucker for chocolate. I love stuffed animals. I’m crazy about jewelry. Sentimental cards mean a great deal to me, and I can always have more flowers! So, with all of that said, you’d think that Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. However, to be honest, I’m quite conflicted. I vividly remember 10 years ago when I was teaching Religious School on Wednesday, February 14th, 2001. I was all prepared to tell my students that Valentine’s Day is NOT a Jewish holiday and then have a discussion about Tu B’Av – the 15th of Av, which was an ancient Jewish holiday about love. So, just as I was getting ready, in walks Josh Z, one of my 5th grade students holding a giant, pink heart-shaped box of chocolates…and he gave it to me! If that wasn’t enough to break my heart, one of my fellow teachers had baked me a cake, tied a “Happy Valentine’s Day Balloon” around it and left it on my desk in the classroom for everyone to see. So as not to hurt Josh’s feelings or seem hypocritical- with a giant balloon in the classroom, I decided to “soften” my approach. Instead, we discussed some of the reasons why, traditionally, Valentine’s Day may not have been a Jewish holiday and what Jewish connections there are to Valentine’s Day.

Over the years, this conversation has come up again and again. And now that it is February, wherever you go out (if of course, you can get out with all the snow we keep getting), you see pink and red hearts and messages of “I love you,” everywhere. So, I begin to ask myself, “Is it ok for us as Jews to celebrate a holiday named after a saint? The message of love and appreciation for those we love is undoubtedly a Jewish concept. Our most central prayer, of the Shema and V’Ahavta implores us to love God. And, I am a strong believer in a quote from Les Miserables, that, “to love another person is to see the face of God.” So, again, I wonder is it “Ok,” as a Jew to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

A very little-known Jewish holiday is the afore-mentioned Talmudic holiday of “Tu B’Av,” (which means the 15th of the month of Av) which falls in the summertime, around the end of July or August. In ancient times this was a holiday in which single women would all dress in white (so no one would appear wealthier than anyone else) and they would go to the fields outside of Jerusalem. As they frolicked in the fields, the single men would be able to pick which woman they would like to claim for their wife. While this may seem a bit archaic, it isn’t so far from some of the “mix and mingle” events, like the annual “Matzah Ball” that occur today…but I digress. Therefore, if we have our own Jewish “Day of Love,” do we even need Valentine’s Day?

After doing some research as to the origin of Valentine’s Day (which is debated) and into whether or not Jews can celebrate holidays which do not have Jewish origins, I found a very interesting ruling. According Rabbi Moshe Isserlis, (Poland, 1520-1572) as explained by Rabbi Mike Uram (see below), a Jew can celebrate a holiday that was originated by a non-Jew as long as it meets the following criteria: “Does the debated activity have a secular origin or value? Can one rationally explain the behavior or ritual apart from the gentile holiday or event? If there are idolatrous origins, have they disappeared? And are the activities actually consistent with Jewish tradition?” Since the modern celebration of Valentine’s Day does in fact meet these criteria, there is no real problem with celebrating Valentine’s Day.

However, last year, my husband Ruben and I decided to create our own holiday of love. We decided that we liked the concepts of Valentine’s Day, but it didn’t feel right for us to celebrate it. So, we decided to celebrate “ValenSTEIN’s Day.” We made up a story about a rabbi named Rabbi Mordechai Valenstein who was known as the “Love Rabbi.” He was great at match-making and always talking about the importance of loving God, loving your family, and of course, “loving your neighbor.” Rabbi Valenstein also loved a deal, so we decided to celebrate our new holiday on February 15th when all the chocolate was on sale!

So, whether you decide to celebrate Tu B’Av, or Valentine’s Day or even Valenstein’s Day- make sure you take time to tell the ones you care about that you love them. For every day is a day to say, “I love you!”

If you’d like to see more about Rabbi Mike Uram’s findings, you can check out his article at http://www.myjewishlearning.com/holidays/About_Holidays/Non-Jewish_Holidays/Valentines_Day.shtml

(The story of Rabbi Valenstein is copyrighted and will hopefullly appear in greater length in the future)

O'Hanukkah, O'Hanukkah...

Happy Hanukkah!

I hope that you're having a wonderful celebration, thus far! I have surely enjoyed all of the Hanukkah celebrations we've been having at SRT. The one word I'd have to pick to describe Hanukkah so far this year would have to be...LATKES! We started the holiday off with a "latke contest" on Friday night following services, then we enjoyed latkes at Religious School on Sunday morning, had more latkes on Sunday evening at the potluck dinner and then, I made latkes with the Confirmation class on Monday evening. I don't know if I'm biased or if it was the "love" that the students put into the potato pancakes, but these latkes were AMAZING! I think I'll take a break from latkes....

I hope your Hanukkah is full of light and good food (and not too much grease...but just enough)!

Chag Sameach-Happy Hanukkah!

Shabbat Shalom!

So, it is just about Shabbat and I'm getting ready for a wonderful evening at Temple and a great "Lunch and Learn" tomorrow. Ruben has spent all day cooking and tomorrow's lunch should be great! He made cholent, hummus, and two types of kugel!

I'm posing a question... "What is one thing you can do to make Shabbat a little more special in your life?"

I look foward to hearing your thoughts...

Shabbat Shalom!

Back from the Biennial

Last week I had an amazing opportunity to celebrate my Judaism with over 3000 other Reform Jews from around North America and beyond. I attended the Union for Reform Judaism's 70th Biennial in Toronto, Canada. For me, it was my 5th Biennial-- having gone to one as a teenager and then going to the last 3 while in Rabbinical School. It was a truly awesome time of getting together with old friends and making new ones. I learned new melodies of songs and came back to SRT with some great program ideas.

I'll be speaking about the Biennial at services on Friday, November 20th...so please come to hear more about the conference and even share in a treat I brought back from Canada!

In the meantime, you can check out www.urj.org for more info on the Biennial.

Stay tuned, I'll be posting a few pics too...

Shabbat Shalom!

A little more from JJ Keki

We'll continue to post more pictures from JJ's visit. Here's a quick clip of JJ's performance with the Religious School.

Shalom Everybody...Shalom to Africa, Shalom to America...Shalom-Shalom!!!

Jews in Uganda and Bay Shore...

On Sunday night, October 25th we were blessed to welcome JJ Keki to SRT. JJ is a leader of the Abayudaya Jews of Uganda. His program was incredibly fascinating and wonderfully informative. All who were there truly enjoyed themselves as JJ performed and shared his life story with us. For more information on the Jews of Uganda, go to http://www.kulanu.org/

Our committee who put the event together was truly AMAZING! We all worked so hard and it definitely paid off as the synagogue was full with people ready to learn about our brothers and sisters in Uganda!

JJ is a truly remarkable man. He's a leader of the community, a chazzan, a father, a farmer and now we can say he's a friend of SRT! Thank you to all who came out and all who supported our program! What a wonderful night!

Shake, Shake, Shake

Shake, Shake, Shake...Shake, Shake, Shake...Shake your lulav...Shake your lulav! Yes, it is that wonderful time of year- the holiday of Sukkot! We've eaten our apples and honey on Rosh Hashanah and we atoned for our sins on Yom Kippur. Now we are ready to shake our lulav and smell our etrog as we dwell inside our Sukkah.



We welcomed in Sukkot this past Friday evening with a wonderful Shabbat dinner sponsored by Sisterhood. Services were great, if I do say so myself. We then all had an opportunity to "dwell in the sukkah" during the oneg when we also took turns shaking the lulav!



We continued our Sukkot celebrations today with Religious School. The Parent Council provided all the students with the materials and directions to make their own edible sukkahs...believe me when I tell you they looked both fabulous and delicious! All of our students also took turns fulfilling the Sukkot Mitzvot of eating in the sukkah and shaking the lulav.



Our Sukkot Celebrations will continue tomorrow during Confirmation class and again on Tuesday when all of our Hebrew School students will enjoy "Pizza in the Hut." If you'd like to join us on Tuesday evening for dinner, please let me or the office know so we make sure to have enough pizza!



Mo'adim L'simcha! Chag Sameach! Happy Sukkot...and Happy Shaking!



Here's a sample of the fun we had as videographed by Allyson Ellner: